Sunday, September 30, 2012

Healed.



I am not sure how to tell you this – how to explain it fully and in a way that both makes sense and impacts you.  I don’t even know where to begin.  There are so many layers to peel back and explain.  And how does one explain the things of God anyway?  How do you lay out a story so extravagant that you yourself cannot fully grasp it – when further revelation seems to be ongoing and somehow never complete?

I have to start somewhere so I will start with the end of the story.  

LittleM and LittleR are healed. 

That’s right – healed.  Not healing.  Not on a healing diet.

Healed.

GAPS angel food cake muffins
Strawberries
Scrambled eggs WITH whites
Corn
Green beans
Cranberry tea
Orange Juice
Pizza
Grilled Cheese Sandwich
Mandarin Oranges
Pineapple
French Fries
Ketchup
BBQ Baby Back Ribs
Guacamole
Corn Chips and Salsa
Sesame/Carrot Cookies
Applegate hotdogs
Spelt French toast
Maple Syrup
Raw cow’s milk
Grapes
Bananas
Raw vanilla yogurt

In the last 48 hours LittleM and LittleR have eaten ALL of these new foods.  Are you ready for this?  All of the foods in italics were from Chili’s Restaurant!!!

What!!!??? Yes you read that correctly…all of it.

So that is the end of this story but the road to get here is so complex and yet so simple.  God has been taking us on this journey for 3.5 years now.  The thing that amazes me the most is that He always meets us where we are.  In hindsight I see this is just grace – so much grace.  About 1.5 years ago God led us to the GAPS Diet and the healing protocol that we have been doing.  There is no doubt that it was God.  And there is no doubt that had the diet come to us in the beginning of this journey (when the kids were born) we never would have done it.  We wouldn’t have been ready to take the leap – and so God met us where we were then.  Instead of saying, “Feed your kids bone broth and meat (the main thing the medical community says to avoid).”  He said, “Here feed your kids this medical formula.”  I am certain this was God meeting us where we were since today I KNOW that formula is junk and unhealthy.  But at the time it was the best thing for them – in the space that we were in.  It was God meeting us where we were.   As we traveled along on the journey we were ready to take a leap of faith.  Looking back I can see that more than anything this is what made the difference.  On the GAPS Diet the kids began to thrive and we actually saw healing taking place.  This was true as long as we stayed on the diet.    I would always be praying that God heal the kids though – if that was his will.  Each time I earnestly asked this of Him, He answered me the same way.  He told us to follow the protocol and He would go one step ahead of us preparing their bodies for each new step.   In this I knew He would heal them – but I didn’t know when or really how.  Would it be through the diet or would he one day say it was finished.  Wow.  In hindsight the grace of this amazes me.  He came to where we were and gave us an alternative to his divine healing that we were able to comprehend and in faith – act upon.  Then He was faithful and the children thrived.

It was quite a struggle though.  It was not easy preparing the right foods and at times it was so monotonous.  Then there were the treasures in dark places.  Oh those treasures.  I learned to be content with where we were.  I learned to be thankful for how healthy the children were instead of angry or depressed with where they were not.  I learned to enjoy the motions of preparing their foods over and over again.  I learned that it was a joy and a servant act to wash the broth pot.  I learned most of all that I didn’t have to worry about any of it.  LittleM and LittleR were in the hands of the Great I Am.  They were loved and cherished by Abba Father.  They were bought for a price by the Lord Jesus Christ.  AND HIS PLANS FOR THEM AND CARE FOR THERE NEEDS WERE SO MUCH BETTER THAN MINE.    I really truly learned this and was able to be truly ok with their condition.

I also learned something that was not really pretty about myself.  I learned that a significant part of my identity was becoming wrapped up in their condition.  I realized recently that I was also marking their identity as the “kids who can’t eat anything.”  This is an ugly subconscious reality that I believe would rather stay a dirty little secret.  Honestly I believe it was just another lie of Satan.  How many times do you hear people talking about their illness or condition as though it is a “badge of honor?”  I am not saying it is done intentionally.  I am not saying they believe it is a good thing.  I am simply saying that in some broken way we find value and worth in being sick – different – special – set apart from the “norm.”  What I am really speaking to here is a lie from Hell - a lie that twists the truth of your personal worth (which is in Christ – whether you know it or not) into a strange comfort zone.  When I was younger I was a very depressed teen.  I had reasons for being sad, but the lie that I owned was really summed up in one line of a poem I wrote back then: “I cling to my sadness, it is the only certainty I know.”  No this is not exactly the same thing, but it is similar.  That line of a pretty good poem was kind of beautiful in a sad sort of way, but what a lie from the pit of Hell.  The sad thing is that it was true.  I dove into my sadness and it became who I was.  This is true of LittleM, LittleR, and my conditions as well.  I unknowingly accepted our conditions as a part of our identity and to be quite honest…I am not sure that I would have known who to be if they had suddenly vanished a year ago.  That is a sobering thought.  Honestly it has me running to the foot of the cross (rebuking all the way).

Praise the Lord – he meets us where we are.

Two weeks ago an evangelist came to my church.  He preached a sermon on healing that changed EVERYTHING.  The beautiful thing about the Lord is that the journey of the past few years was all a part of preparing me to hear the sermon.  After the sermon on healing I waited until the speaker was free and I asked him about the children’s condition.  He spoke to me for probably 20 minutes.  The things he was saying were not really what I wanted to hear, but as he spoke his words resonated in my spirit.  I knew he was right.  Tiff Shuttlesworth told me that the children’s condition sounded spiritual to him.  He told me that while he thinks that a diet for a medical condition can be a good thing, Jesus never healed anyone with a diet in the Bible.  He was kind – not at all condescending.    He went on to say that we need to be careful not to get too much into a thought process of what WE can DO.  This one hit me pretty hard.  I have often talked with one of my fellow GAPS friends about this trap - the idea that I can sometimes forget that this is about what God is doing and not about all of my efforts.  Tiff told me that there were 2 books I really needed to read.  I left the church – books in hand – and tears in my eyes that night.  I knew that what he was saying was right.  As I made my way to my car though, I began to feel hopeful – if this was a spiritual thing there was something that could be done about that!

I began reading the first book.  It was a collection of all the healing scriptures in the Bible.  This was great, but it wasn’t CHANGING anything in me.  So I put it down and picked up the second book recommended by Tiff.  Since Tiff had introduced this book as the best book he has EVER read on Divine healing I was expecting a lot.  What I read in the first 14 pages changed me forever.  This was not some book with someone’s words telling me how they interpret the scriptures.  This book is better described as a teaching on the scriptures – looking at the original languages as well.  This book is the best book I have EVER read on Divine healing! 

I don’t know where to begin or how to explain the teaching in this book.  Since it looks at the Bible teachings on healing as a whole and not so much as separate scriptures – it is so far out of my league to really even discuss at this point.  In any event here are the main points that not only changed my perspective on healing BUT HAVE ACTUALLY LED TO THE DIVINE HEALING OF BOTH OF MY CHILDREN AS WELL AS ME.

  1.  “If God will heal anyone, he will heal you.”  (Acts 10:34, James 5:14-15)
  2.  Healing is always the will of God – always.  (Mark 1:41, James 5:14, Numbers 21:9, Matthew 12:15, Matthew 14:36, Matthew 12:15, Luke 6:19, Matthew 8:16-17, Luke 4:40, Psalm 107:20, Proverbs 4:22, Exodus 15:26, Mark 6:56, Isaiah 5:58, Psalm 103:2-3)
  3. Your sins were not the only thing that Jesus bore on the cross – he also bore your infirmities/diseases. (Isaiah 53:5 WITH Matthew 8:16-17 and Deuteronomy 28 WITH Galatians 3:13, 1 Peter 2:24)
  4. Just as salvation from sins is a gift – so is healing – YOU must believe and receive it. (John 3:16, Isaiah 53:5 WITH Matthew 8:16-17, Mark 2:5, Mark 2:9, Matthew 9:2, Jeremiah 17:14)
  5. Divine healing is received in Jesus’ name by faith. (Matthew 9:29, Hebrews 11:6, James 1:6-7, Mark 11:24, Philippians 2:9, 10, 1 John 5:14-15, John 15:7, James 5:14-15, Mark 16:18, Mark 9:23)
  6. You must act on your faith – and “walk in” the promise of God to heal you. (Hebrews 11:1)
  7. You cannot trust your feelings.  Just because you don’t “feel healed” doesn’t mean you aren’t healed.  (1 Kings 8:56, Ezekiel 12:25, 2 Corinthians 1:20)
  8. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God.  You cannot expect to develop this faith on your own.  The Lord is the author and finisher of your faith.  His word tells you that He will develop this faith through the hearing of His word.  THIS IS WHERE YOU GET THE FAITH YOU NEED TO RECEIVE THIS PROMISE OF HEALING. (Romans 10:17, Proverbs 4:20-22, John 8:32)
  9. God does not change.  Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and FOREVER.  (Hebrews 13:8)
  10. Healing is a promise to all who will believe – Jehovah Rapha (Exodus 15:26, Romans 10:9)

As I read the first 50 or so pages of this 300+ page book, I knew that what I was reading was true. I didn’t just read what the commentary in the book was saying and take the word of the author.  Each time they made a point I dug into my bible, my resources for the original languages, the cross references and I listened for the conviction of the Holy Spirit.  What I was reading – the word of God – began to develop my faith.  Actually it EXPLODED my faith.

And then I had read enough.  I had been convicted in my spirit enough.  It was all enough.  I had been discussing what I was reading and learning with Shawn and I was praying that the Holy Spirit would convict him too.  I was praying that if I let him, he would take the lead on what to do with this revelation. 

The night before last, September 28th, Shawn and I sat up talking until the wee hours of the morning.   We decided that we were ready to reach out and accept the promise of healing which by the way I had already been walking in for my own illness since September 9th.    I was prayed for at the women’s retreat by a great woman named Wendy Bellis.  Though the pain and other symptoms of my Lyme and Fibromyalgia did not want to stay gone I knew it was my job to “doubt my doubts” and focus on the word of God – the promise – and “walk in my healing.”  My ACT of faith was to stop taking a medication that had been helping my fatigue and cognitive difficulties quite a lot.  And today?   I am virtually pain free and my other symptoms are all but gone.  I would say at this point I FEEL about 80% healed – but I KNOW that I am in truth 100% healed!  So back to reaching out and accepting the gift of healing for LittleM and LittleR…

Saturday morning we called the kids up onto our bed.  We began telling them what we had read in the Bible – what we had learned – that they were healed.  We asked them if they believed that Jesus was their healer.  We explained to them that when He died on the cross for their sins he also died for their sicknesses.  When we asked them what this meant they knew – they could eat “allergic foods.”  Death and Life are in the power of the tongue – oh how I now wish we had spoken life over their bodies from the start and not taught them to claim their illness as their identity.   When we asked them what they wanted for breakfast they both said muffins.  When we said ok, let’s go the kitchen – I cannot forget the happy – top of the lungs – cries of joy; “Yaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!”  LittleR was so excited that he was overwhelmed and instead of running to the kitchen he ran all the way to his room and buried his head in his pillow.  I believe that he was so happy that my little 3 year old boy wanted to cry.  I will never forget the strawberry red stains all over my little girl’s face – her favorite food of the day; “Just like strawberry Shortcake.”

After breakfast I had to go to work.  I felt great about the GAPS foods we had just fed them and the plan we had to go really slowly with new foods.  BUT there was this nagging feeling inside of me that we had to go “all in.”  It is true that feeding them new foods that were still part of the healing protocol we were doing with them was exciting and a huge step of faith, but it was also true that this still allowed me to be in control.  In this I knew God was telling me to give HIM the control.  We decided that we needed to take them to a restaurant and let them order WHATEVER they wanted.  Even though we will be eating healthy – traditional foods (think Weston A. Price rather than GAPS) we needed to “seal the covenant.”  Yesterday, September 29th, 2012, we took LittleM and LittleR to a restaurant where they ordered off the menu for the first time in their lives.  Though I was sick to my stomach about the food (ha!) the thought of this makes my eyes well up with happy tears.  I am in absolute bewilderment at God – Jehovah Rapha – I AM THE LORD WHO HEALS YOU.  This is one of the “Covenant Names of God.”  That’s right covenant – this is a promise.  



Bless the Lord oh my soul, all that is within me, bless His holy name.  Forget not all his benefits: who forgives all your iniquities; who heals all your diseases.  Psalm 103:1-3

4 comments:

  1. The Book is called "Healing the Sick" by T.L. Osborn.

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  2. Words are not enough. We rejoice with you!! Love you!!!

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  3. Amazing!!!!!! Tears!!!!!

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  4. Praise God for healing you and the kids! Awesome!

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