Thursday, August 19, 2010

A Good Day

I believe in God. I believe that we are created – with a plan and a purpose. As part of that purpose I believe that while fathers are created to provide for and protect their families, mothers are made to nurture and nourish their families.

It seems that somewhere between work, soccer practice, dance lessons, PTA, and the million other things that mom’s facilitate today, we (as a society) have lost sight of this created purpose. We have turned to pre-packaged, boxed, and frozen foods. I am not judging – life for us is crazy too – I made a frozen pizza for dinner this week. The other night Shawn said to me, “You love cooking.” It was 8:00 at night – the babies had just gone to bed and it was time for me to START dinner. I explained to him that there was a time when I loved cooking, but given the circumstances of our lives I can’t stand it anymore. I still like food but I sometimes find myself disgusted with the prospect of preparing it. It has only been since that conversation that I realized I have been in a food depression.

With BabyM refusing to eat for weeks now and BabyR refusing for at least a week, I have been consumed with frustration and a sort of anxiety. I have been trying to get them to eat ALL DAY – offering the sippy cup again and again – to no avail. This fight has become all consuming lately. Without any change we would most likely be heading toward a feeding tube.

I prayed for wisdom. Many others prayed as well.

Today I decided that the only thing left to look at as THE offender was the formula we had switched the twins to a few months ago. This switch mysteriously coincides with the flare up in their symptoms, but so many other things did too. What’s more, the GI doc told us that the old formula was not nutritionally complete for toddlers AND that there was no way for them to react to this formula since it was also an amino acid based elemental formula. Wow. We continue to learn that he is really not paying attention. As it turns out the old formula is designed for both infants and toddlers – this is regulated by the federal government so they can’t just say that if it’s not true. AND to add insult to injury, many of the FPIES moms have experienced reactions to the new formula as well.

So the challenge…Nutramigen AA (old formula) ALL day

The results...

The twins ate a modest amount first thing this morning. They both pulled the cup away from their mouths and looked at it for a while since it tasted different, but then ate it just the same. Nothing happened – no pain, fussiness, or diarrhea.

They have both been refusing to eat the second and fourth bottle of the day and have gone so far as to push it away or throw it. Today the second and fourth bottles were well received! I felt giddy (truly) when at the bed time feeding Mari saw me pick up her cup and started giggling saying, “ya, ya.”

As of late the typical consumption has been 12 to 16 ounces per day.

Today Mari has already had 15 – and the guaranteed 6 ounces for the “sleep feeding” at 11:00 will bring her to 21 – only 150 calories below her caloric need. I am sure that her little stomach needs a bit of a stretch. She was much less fussy and clingy today too. : )

BabyR actually FINISHED 2 of his bottles today! At bedtime he was up to 25 ounces and his sleep feeding will get him another 6 at least – bringing him to 31…still not where he needs to be for caloric intake, but getting there. He’ll be finishing all his bottles by the end of the week at this pace!

Today was a good day. Watching my children “eat” made me want to cry. It reminded me of the amazing gift it is to nurture and nourish my family.

Thank you for wisdom God.

Tonight I cooked dinner…and I enjoyed doing it.


  1. You are so strong, Nichole. This really moved me and I can only sit her and imagine what this is doing to you and how torturous it must feel. I am glad that this day was a good day. Continue this "fight"...I will be praying for your beautiful babies. God can do anything. Please, also take care of YOU. If you are not mindful about your own health, that is not helpful to your babies. I want to see those 10 pounds on you, girl, and soon!!

    Love you,


  2. And yes, I did spell my name wrong.

  3. I am working on that 10lbs! Thanks Ssssssheila : )

  4. Yea babies! I can truely say that I understand that feeling!!! Keep doing what is best for them!!! Praying everyday for you little ones!

  5. "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him."
    Jeremiah 17:7

    Keep your confidence in him! He's working! Love you! xoxo.