Nothing Short of A Miracle

Thursday was BabyM’s big day – the “feeding tube follow-up” appointment with the GI doc. I had been feeling good about BabyM’s weight gain during the past few weeks, but I honestly had no idea what the doctor was looking for in terms of gain. Even though we had no intentions of putting in a tube at this time (in light of her progress) I really didn’t know if we would be fighting an up-hill battle with Dr. D.

Nurse R. came in and weighed BabyM – commenting very little on her progress. She weighed in just under 21 pounds and since her foot was off the scale I had to ask if that mattered – I was really hoping that their scale would have her over 21 pounds since the nutritionist’s scale had her at 21 pounds 1 ounce the day before. No luck – Nurse R. recorded the official weight 20.8lbs or 9.45 kilos, and left the room “unmoved” by BabyM’s gain.

When Dr. D. walked in he happily stated “we’ve seen some gain here – that’s good.” He immediately asked what we had done differently. I told him the bare bones truth – the only one who had done anything differently was BabyM. “She was just interested in eating more formula,” I said. This version of the truth left out basically all of the truth. The facts are plain and simple: the only thing we did was pray. Well we also waited, hoped, and prayed some more – oh and we asked others to pray. Actually we sent out an all points bulletin – an emergency SOS – to our powerhouse prayer list.

Dr. D. just sat there looking at me – with a – no really what did you do differently look on his face. I looked back at him and said nothing. At the time it had not really hit me yet, but Dr. D. simply could not believe that we hadn’t changed anything. He began listing possible explanations. “Did you start feeding therapy? Did your nutritionist add a food?” Honestly I can’t even remember all the scenarios he threw at me – probably 4 or 5 – before I realized that he was not going to stop asking. He was simply bewildered at the progress and needed to make sense of it with his scientific brain.

“I guess Shawn and I have been more deliberate at offering formula more often,” I offered.

“Oh, ok, that can do it sometimes,” he said.

This was such a flimsy explanation but needing ANYTHING to grab hold of Dr. D. eagerly filled the blank spot in his mind with this information, and then he instantly resumed his monotone affect and continues on to the usual exam questions.

At the end of the clinical assessment he started to seem more and more excited that we didn’t have to have a feeding tube. There he finally said it – NO TUBE! Wooooohooooo! He actually cleared BabyM for TWO months. He finished up with the physical exam and answered my last question.

“This is really good news… really good. This sure makes things easier,” he said smiling.

It was almost as if he JUST realized the magnitude of BabyM’s progress. It seemed as though he had mentally prepared himself to have to stand his ground with me – and that he had been waiting for some other information to pop up throughout the course of the appointment that would have led him to the same conclusion. As the end of the appointment drew near he became increasingly excited. For a very short moment I thought he was almost giddy.

“Whatever you are doing keep it up,” he said to me as he was leaving the room.

“Honestly the only thing we have really done is pray.” There is was – there was the TRUTH – the REAL explanation Dr. D. had been searching for.

“Well if that‘s what it takes…that’ll work,” he said.

Here it is:

It wasn’t until later – at home – that it really clicked for me. I knew that BabyM’s progress was an answer to prayer. I just missed how much of a miracle this really is. It’s kind of like the phenomenon of watching your children grow. You see incremental changes every day that make is difficult to see just how much they have grown and changed, but if you went away for 6 weeks (like on of my mommy friends just did) and come back to see your 6 month old – you REALLY notice the differences.

This progress – and answer to prayer impacted me in tiny incremental ways – I missed the HUGENESS of the change because I was too close. The more I reflect on Dr. D.’s reaction, the more I KNOW the magnitude of this miracle.

Here are the hard numbers to consider:

6/9 – 18lbs 14oz (below average gain)
7/14 – 19lb 3oz (normal gain)
8/13 – 19lb 10oz (normal gain – plus a little)
9/13 – 19lb 6oz (LOSS)
10/14 – 19lb 8oz (below average gain)
11/11 – 19lb 5 oz (LOSS)
12/6 - GI appointment – “4 week countdown to feeding tube”
12/8 – FORMULA INTAKE – 22.5 ounces
12/8 - SOS Email for prayer
12/9 – FORMULA INTAKE 31.5 ounces!!!! (the most EVER taken in 1 day!)
12/9 - 19lbs 8oz (below normal gain)
12/17 - 19lbs 14oz (4x normal gain!)
12/27 - 20lbs 3oz (almost 3x normal gain!)
1/12 - 21lbs 1oz (5x normal gain!)

Realizing that we have no options – nothing extra or better (read – higher calories) that we can feed BabyM – this is truly nothing short of a miracle.