The night after this “game changing event” I heard a new message from the Lord deep in my heart. I heard him saying, “You hear my voice, you know what I have said (about the kids). Now you have to act in faith.” That night I really hadn’t thought about how the situation at hand was about me. I really thought of it as me being in the right place at the right time to intervene in a hard situation. But after the Lord showed himself in it, I realized that he was using it as part of my testimony as well. He is so amazing like that. I realized that not only do I KNOW what God has told me about the children, but that I HAVE to walk in faith. It is my responsibility now to do the hard work in what he has showed me. In faith I have to go through this healing protocol for LittleM and LittleR. I have been stuck. During the fall and winter we were actually not stuck, we had gone so far backward, but that was not as a result of us following the protocol. It was actually a result of us getting too far ahead of the protocol and not paying attention to some of the details because they were too hard.
Right now I know what I have to do. I also know that with all of the hard work of the protocol as we already follow it, adding in each new step is going to be SO MUCH work. Honestly it is overwhelming to consider right now as I sit here and type. In these moments when I feel so overwhelmed at the mountain before me, I just have to reel my thoughts back in and rest in a few things:
It is the voice of the Lord that I am believing in and following.
My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. John 10:27
If he has called me to it he will give me the strength that I need.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”ThereforeI will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 1 Corinthians 12: 7-10
As I rest in him, he will continue to work on my behalf.
It is vain for you to rise up early, To retire late, To eat the bread of painful labors; For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep. Psalm 127:2
So what does this mean for LittleM and LittleR? We will be walking in faith through each step of the healing protocol. I don’t know how long it will take, but there are certain components that we have been avoiding because they are difficult (fermented fish) scary or because they “should” be avoided in very extreme children (things like dairy and nuts). BUT if the Lord himself gives us an instruction – that’s all I need to know.