Monday, July 18, 2011

Last year at this time we had a problem. LittleM would put everything in her mouth. Even though we were past that stage in age, we were not past the stage in actuality. I always suspected that this had something to do with her innate desire to put things in her mouth and chew – to eat. While other parents of the twin’s age were talking about strategies to get rid of the pacifier that was not even on the radar for us.

The papu (as LittleM named it) was a soothing mechanism, and an added layer of protection from eliciting an FPIES reaction to God only knows what the twins might put in their mouths. For me it was more than that though. For me the papu has been one thing that I don’t have to deny them. Imagine the emotional tie I have had to it since it has been one of the only things that I could LET them put into their mouths. It has gone right in line with my theory that while dads are created to provide and protect, moms are made to nurture and nourish. In a strange way the papu has met both of these desires in me, but it was not until today that I could put that into words.

Over that last few weeks Shawn and I have been talking about the need to get rid of the papus. It certainly makes it easier to think about since the kids have a dozen or so foods that they can eat. This is not the main reason we are pushing forward with the task though. Cute as it may be both LittleM and LittleR have developed papu-speech. At one point LittleR actually developed a lateral list. Put your thumb on the roof of your mouth and say “church.” Yup that is how he sounded – only worse. Although out OT told us that there was no way to work on this until three years old we began working with LittleR and the lisp is pretty much gone. In the last week or so LittleR started saying things like, “look, I see a big, big twuck!” While LittleM spits out the same “r” sound; “let me twy it.”

Yikes. Time to make a change.

Today I was out for groceries with the twins. As we pulled out of Wegman’s, I decided to make a stop at the thrift store across the street. I made a passing request to the Lord as I parked the car; “Ok Lord, you know we need to get this done.” I went inside and made my way to the back of the store to sift through the children’s books. Right there on the top of the bin was a copy of Little Bunny’s Pacifier Plan in great condition. Wow. This was a long shot really – such a specific type of book and there it was. I flipped through the pages and quickly discerned that the “plan” was for Little Bunny to give his pacifier to a new baby. I was not real thrilled with this “cold turkey” approach and dug through every last book in the bin in search of a better plan. Who wants to deal with the fallout from taking twin 2-year-old’s pacifiers away in one fail swoop? I sure don’t, but more than that, I didn’t want to put them through that. I know that my emotional ties to food and their inability to eat like other kids is stronger than theirs, but I also know that I have no idea what is going on in their little minds. I have no idea how one is related to the other – for them.

Still, I said, “ok God.” I bought the book. Before nap time I began telling the kids that we were going to give their papus to a new baby soon. They seemed ok with the idea though they obviously have no idea what that would mean for them. We all sat down on the couch to read the new book. I figured there was no reason to hold off the indoctrination of the papu plan. As I read the book to the kids my eyes welled up with tears. I let out a quiet laugh – just between me and God. He never ceases to amaze me. I am always so surprised at how he cares for even the little things.

The Papu Plan
Step One: My little bunnies can only have their papus inside house
Step Two: My little bunnies can only have their papus in their bedrooms
Step Three: My Little bunnies can only have their papus on the papu chair (in their bedrooms)
Step Four: My little bunnies pack their papus away in their closets
Step Five: LittleM and LittleR wrap their papus to give to a new baby as a present

And he is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions
Eclipsed by glory and I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me

And oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us, how He loves us all.

John Mark McMillan


  1. OH MY GOODNESS! I am in TEARS! He is so soooo SOOO good to us isnt He? And he LOVES out children so much more than we do. He did not only do that for you, He did it for THEM. And WEIRD-O...what song have I been listening to the last few weeks that is amazing? That one! You are an amazing mama!

  2. Oh and PS. Kim Walker is from Northern CA :)